Archive for July 2014

Do you want to be a “Yes” parent?

I heard my wise friend, Julie Bridgeforth, once say,

“I want to be a “Yes” parent.”  

She explained that because there is enough that we have to say “No” to, she wants her kids to take more seriously the meaning and significance of it when she does have to use it.  Therefore, whenever her kids ask about something, she stops herself and considers whether there really is a good reason to say “No.”  If not, it’s a “Yes!”

Brilliant!  Totally agree with her reasoning!  Since I heard this, I’ve also often stopped myself from saying “No” just because it was inconvenient or easier…for me.  I realized more often than not, I’m simply being a kill-joy for no good reason.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
James 1:19-20

Do you want to be a “Yes” parent?

Don’t forget to keep an eye out for teachable moments to help you incorporate God’s Word into your daily parenting!
Make good use of your copy of Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments!

Julie couldn’t remember where she heard this.
However, in reading No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids for Who They Are, author Jill Savage mentions on page 104 that she has blogged about “Be a Yes Mom!”
Sure enough, click here to read one of them. 
I highly recommend this book

and her blog –


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How to use media to parent with Scripture – American Ninja Warrior Style

Anyone else’s family enthralled by the athletic competition show American Ninja Warrior?  Together we marvel at the strength of the competitors and are inspired by many of the back stories.

Last Monday, area finalist Geoffrey Motil shared how he made bad mistakes through his 20s and 30s.  However, he went on to say,  “I’ve transformed all these horrible decisions into being honest…it’s on to a new road!” Woohoo!  Durbins were set to cheer him on after that clip!

He had barely begun the first obstacle when we saw him climbing out of the course, thereby disqualifying himself.

What?!  Nobody, including the commentators, could figure out what had happened.

Geoffrey walked straight up to the interviewer and explained that he grabbed on to the back of one of the boards, an illegal move.  In keeping with his desire to live honestly, he immediately jumped out of the course.

He said, “I know what I did.  I’m not gonna cheat.”  The commentator later replied, “Truly an honorable move by the competitor!” 

If you wish to see the clip, click here.  Then, fast forward to the time count of 14 minutes.

Here’s what stood out to us as we discussed this man’s actions –
*Did he keep going and hope that nobody would notice?
*How would he have felt if he had kept going and made it through to the next round?
*How long did it take him to make a right or wrong decision?
                   Split-second!  His heart clearly desires to do what is right!
*How many people would have done what he did?
*What would you have done?

Tips for Teachable Moments:
Remember that you can always expand and follow up on teachable moments later.  In the moment, I paused the episode and we discussed it briefly.  However, it wasn’t until a couple of days later that I followed up with adding in the value what God has to say about that man’s choices.  Don’t let the timing keep you from making the most of it!

Remember to grab your copy of Parenting with Scripture: a Topical Guide for Teachable Moments to help you find verses when something like this comes up!

WOW….SO MANY great Scriptural lessons and principles can come from this real-life example!
Here are just a few:

From the topic “Honesty” – page 122
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much,
and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
Luke 16:10
Discussion: How trustworthy do you think this man is?  Why?

From the topic “Character” – page 38
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
1 Corinthians 15:33
Discussion:  Would someone like this be a good or bad friend to have?  Why?

From the topic “Integrity” – page 132
The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.
Proverbs 10:9
Discussion:  What are the results of the actions he took?
What would have been the results of his actions if he had kept going?

From the topic “Example” – page 86
In everything set them an example by doing what is good.
Titus 2:7
Discussion:  Is he a good example?
Is being a good example always easy?
Who would you admire more… him or someone who won dishonestly?  Why?

Praying the Scripture:
After our discussion about the related verses, we prayed through the verses asking for God’s help with each topic.  I also added a petition for our Heavenly Father to help each of our hearts be ready to glorify Him in split second decisions through all our actions and words. 

I reminded my kids that we know nothing about this man other that we’ve seen on this show.
We talked about how you can’t necessarily believe everything you see in the media, but that we hope it’s true.  Even so, we talked about how everyone is human.
Therefore, we should be careful not to put any person on a pedestal because none of us are perfect.
That’s why our eyes should always remain on our Savior.

Take Action!
Teachable moments are all around, especially through media, if we just keep our eyes, ears, and minds open to them.

Are you ready to tackle parenting with Scripture like an American Ninja Warrior?
With our Savior’s help, we will make it to the finals! 

Pray for opportunities,
keep Parenting with Scripture: a Topical Guide for Teachable Moments on hand
to quickly and easily find  Scripture to fit the teachable moment topic,
enjoy the fruit of helping your kids connect God’s Word to their world!


Clicking on the picture will take you to NBC’s American Ninja Warrior Site.


Comments Off on How to use media to parent with Scripture – American Ninja Warrior Style   Posted In:     |    Written By: Kara Durbin
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Have you thought about the way your kids hear things?

This anecdote always cracks me up, but proves the point that children often “hear” something different than what we intend…

A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and  roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.  As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was near tears by the time he  reached the pulpit.  When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear….”

We need to remember to keep this point in mind as we parent with Scripture.
Examples by age –

Young Children:  “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands”  –  Little ones love this song and it’s motions.  Without explanation, they may be left wondering, “Who is He?” “Does God have hands that big?!”

Elementary Example:  “Crafty”  – If you have a copy of my book, Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments, you may remember the anecdote from the introductory pages of a mom using this topic in a teachable moment.  If she hadn’t defined the word using the helpful definition from the children’s dictionary included in the Parenting with Scripture topic, her son could have been thinking crafty, like arts and crafts, the whole time.  He would have completely missed the point!

Older Kids, Tweens, Teens Example:  “Die?”  – As we were singing Chris Tomlin’s version of “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross” titled “The Wonderful Cross” at church the other day, I wondered what was going through my kids’ head when we sang these lyrics…
“O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross, Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live.”
Even with a good understanding of Salvation, this abstract wording might be perplexing to children.

Let’s listen to ourselves with child-like ears as we Parent with Scripture and make use of teachable moments

 From my all time favorite movie, The Princess Bride –


 Have any funny misunderstandings of “biblical proportion” with your children?
We’d love to read them in the comment section.

Comments Off on Have you thought about the way your kids hear things?   Posted In:     |    Written By: Kara Durbin
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Purposeful Parenting Date

Days go by fast, weeks go even faster, and years seem to fly by!

Kids grow up almost more quickly than we can keep up with!  It seems that each new phase brings with it the need for the hub and I to get on the same page, tweak some of our parenting techniques, or completely revamp.  For short discussions, we might have enough energy by the time we collapse into bed at night.

However, for bigger issues, we’ve found it to be a blessing to schedule a “purposeful parenting date.”

It looks like a regular coffee or dinner date, except that we focus our conversation on the topic at hand.  The extra time away from the kids (when we aren’t exhausted at bedtime) allows us to dig into the issue and figure out our game plan.

Single?  Ask a dear, wise, and godly friend if you can occasionally sit down and hash out some parenting issues together.

Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.
Proverbs 1:8-9




Don’t forget to refer to Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments
for God’s Word on some of the topics you are dealing with.
You may want to pray through some of the applicable Scriptures on behalf of your child.

When do you find is a good time to discuss parenting issues with your spouse? coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee

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